A variety of specialists are able to help you when you experience pain during sex. A sexologist, GP, psychologist, pelvic physical therapist or practice therapist can all contribute to finding an answer to your pain. Experiencing pain during sex can have different causes. The pain can be physical, but also mental. The different causes also require the aid of different specialists. Find out your cause and determine the right specialist for your pain. Read here what you can expect if you seek help when you experience pain during sex.
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Having a pelvic floor isseu is often the cause for having painful sex. It can even mean you’re having prolapse symptoms. I will tell you some more in this helpful blog. I’ve been on the search for answers myself as well. This is more so about what you can expect from each specialist if you’re looking for a solution for your pain during sex. There are a lot of specialists who are ready to help you, but I can also imagine that you don’t want to repeat and re-tell your story with every new person you meet. Let’s first divide this article a little before we reach the core.
Getting help for pain during sex
There are a few things you can do when you experience painful sensations when you’re having sex. Or you’ve been walking around it for a while and you’re convinced this his normal; this is absolutely not true. Sex isn’t supposed to hurt or give you complications, so reaching out and look for help would be a smart thing to do. And remember, you’re not the only one who’s experiencing pain and has a lot of questions. If you’re experiencing these pelvic issues during sex, please look for help. You can seek help from a GP, gynecologist, psychologist, sexologist, pelvic physical therapist or pelvic exercise therapist. It’s often the case that you will visit the GP/doctor first to talk about your issue, and from there on you will be referred to the suitable specialist. If you have a good connection with your doctor, it won’t be too much of an issue to address your sex issues. You can also directly go to a sexologist, pelvic physical/exercise therapist if you don’t have a good bond with your doctor. These specialists are used to questions or issues related to sex. Nothing is too wild, and remember, it can always be wilder. Let’s go through every type of specialist so you can get a good image from then.
The GP/doctor.
Talking to your doctor usually is the first step. The doctor will ask you a few questions to discover what your issues are, and to determine which specialist is best to refer you to. You’ll most likely get a suitable referral. The doctor will perform a physical exam if the doctor suspects that your pain during sex has a physical cause. Examining your pelvic floor muscles will be the case as well. This examination revolves around the muscles in and around your vagina. The doctor will recommend referring you if he suspects that your issues have a mental cause. It can also be caused by both mental and physical things. Both things can affect each other. If you’re scared of physical contact because of trauma, your muscles will cramp up and be very tense. Talking about your sexual trauma with your doctor isn’t the nicest thing, I know. But remember, you’re (unfortunately) not the only one. It’s proven that at least 40% of women has had a negative sexual experience and carry trauma from it. A sexologist or a psychologist are very suited to help you with this.
The psychologist.
Talking about it helps. That’s also why psychologists are successful. Talking is one of the crucial ways to recover if your pain has a mental cause. The doctor will refer you to a psychologist if you carry sexual trauma. You can get it off your chest and speak up about what bothers you. A conversation with a psychologist is always confidential, so don’t be afraid that others will get to know. If you do feel better after those conversations but you’re still experiencing physical issues, it is smart to eventually make an appointment with a specialized pelvic floor therapist. But mental problems come first. You can’t work on your body if the mind isn’t at rest. So first have a conversation with a psychologist so you can eventually make the next step.
The gynecologist.
The gynecologist can assist you with demonstratable, physical defects. If the doctor finds that you have a physical cause for your painful sex, the gynecologist will be a suitable specialist to help you. Think of an organ prolapse because of a weakened pelvic floor. When you have a prolapse, you’d feel like there’s an obstacle when you’re trying to have something insert the vagina, instead of the vagina being just narrow.
The sexologist.
Sexologists are mainly schooled GPs, pelvic floor therapists or psychologists. Overall, they are people that know their stuff. You can talk about every aspect of your issues here, whether it’s physical or mental. A sexologist can be perfectly combined with another specialist. The list of specialists might become very long, but at least you’re taking your pelvic issues seriously. You want to get rid of those issues instead of adjusting your life to it, right? A sexologist can answer all of your questions about sex. The sexologist is also able to give you a lot of advice to find a solution for your painful sex. A sexologist is a very good practitioner. Maybe you can even talk better with your sexologist than with a psychiatrist if your mental problems aren’t too prominent. If you have trouble with processing traumas or another impactful experience and it’s influencing your sex life, then it’s better to see a psychiatrist. The most important thing is that you take action.
The pelvic physical therapist or practice therapist.
You’re often at the right address with a specialized pelvic floor therapist if you’re looking for a solution for your physical issues that caused you to have painful sex. The intake is the first treatment. The pelvic floor therapist will question your socks off, but this is crucial for the first session. That way it will be clear to the therapist what your pelvic issues are and what treatment plan can be made for it. This plan has a clear goal and will be based on your requests. Would you want to go back to swimming, working, working out or paragliding without any pain? Your request can be as specific as you want it to be. A commonly heard problem regarding pelvic issues or pelvic instability is having pain during sex. Getting underneath the covers with your partner could be a whole different experience than what you’re used to. Being intimate can become less enjoyable than before. This can also be a request for the pelvic physical or practice therapist.
After the whole questionary, the specialists will be put to work. Now they will look at you and your pelvis, lower back, hips, breathing, knees, and even an internal examination is possible. The internal examination is always being done after discussing it with you beforehand. You have a say in everything. Set your boundaries and tell them when you experience pain. This will shape a good image for your pelvic therapist. The pelvic therapist can also find out if you have a prolapse. It’s very crucial to know which organ is affected when it comes to a prolapse. The pelvic therapist can conclude this for you.
Tips and tricks for treating your pain during sex.
You can meet up with a lot of different specialists when you’re looking for help for your painful experiences during sex. Every specialist would want to get to know a lot about you. Let’s go through some tips and tricks so you’re properly prepared when you’re about to meet a specialist.
Tip 1: answer the questions regarding the pain during sex at home.
Every specialist will ask a lot of questions that are aimed towards your pelvic issues; Since when do you experience pain during sex? What caused it? At what point do you experience the issues, and so forth. Some questions about your organs will be asked as well, because there are a lot of organs surrounding your pelvic area. Think of your bladder, intestines, prostate, and uterus. Subjects like your menstruation cycle, sexuality, toilet habits, childbirth, urine habits and menopause will be spoken about as well.
Try to answer as many questions as you can at home. Write them down. That way you won’t forget the answers when you’re having a consult with a specialist.
Tip 2: Keep a urine diary.
It’s handy to keep a urine diary beforehand. I’m sure that the question about your urine habits will be asked. How often do you pee? How long does it take before your bladder is emptied? When do you pee? Keep track of this so the specialist can immediately get a good image of your urine habits. A pelvic physical therapist will quickly be able to see a pattern and can already come up with a treatment plan.
You might be thinking, a urine diary, why? But that will properly describe the muscle tension in your vagina and thus in your pelvic floor. It’s very recommended to look into this a little more.
Tip 3: Questions, questions and more questions.
Ask the specialists for a lot of explanation because everything is quite something to process. The pelvic physical therapist will be able to tell you more about the pelvis. The psychiatrist will be able to explain processing to you. You play an important role in the next steps, so discuss a lot with each other. Write down some questions beforehand. That way you won’t forget to ask them and you will feel more satisfied with a visit.
Tip 4: Multiple specialists.
Multiple issues that cause your complications go hand in hand. It could be possible that you need to see a sexologist and a pelvic physical/practice therapist. That’s why it’s recommended that you keep track of everything and write it down. The questions, urine diary, but also your own story about having pain during sex. Like that you won’t forget a detail that could be crucial for the specialist to know.
What are the causes of pain during sex?
Pregnancy isn’t the only thing that can cause issues for your pelvis and pelvic floor. Trauma could be the cause as well. Think of mental trauma, sexual trauma or physical trauma. For example, you could have been a victim of sexual assault, and this can have a negative influence on your current sex life. This can vary from having continuous pain to only having pain when you have sex. Your pelvis is an important asset of your sexuality, so it could be the case that your pelvic issues turn your sex life upside down.
Cause 1: Trauma
If you’ve never talked about a possible, negative experience before, then now is the time to make a starting point for yourself. Talking really makes a difference. I can understand you’re still doubtful, but there are enough professionals that can help you with processing your trauma. You won’t be the first person that will come forward with this issue. Don’t feel like you’re a burden and contact your doctor for a referral or directly go to a psychiatrist. If you’re too nervous to have a conversation face-to-face, you can always request an e-consult. Sometimes this can even be done anonymously.
Cause 2: Vaginismus
Does it seem like your pain isn’t trauma related? Then maybe it can be a case of vaginismus. Vaginismus means you inconsistently tense up the muscles in the pelvic floor (also in and around the vagina) the moment something gets close to the vagina or when the vagina is about to be touched. The cause isn’t always known. The constant tensing up of the pelvic floor muscles will be examined further.
Cause 3: Organic prolapse
A prolapse is a common issue. Women at a later age often have to deal with this problem. It’s good to discover which organ has prolapsed. See a doctor, gynecologist or both as soon as possible. They will be able to help you.
And lastly, are you looking for more information?
Hopefully this information was useful to you! If you’re still looking for some more information, feel free to take another look around on the website. It’s filled with in-depth information, tips a webshop and also exercises. I still have a lot of articles with lots of information about other symptoms and issues. Feel free to click on the blue words to take you straight to the right page.
