The main tip for having sex when you have an overactive pelvic floor is doing relaxing pelvic floor exercises before having sex. You can relax the muscles surrounding the vagina and the anus by doing those exercises. Lets talk about the tips for sex when you have an overactive pelvic floor. When your vagina is too tense, it will be more difficult for a finger, a penis or a dildo to enter. One of the most common signs of having an overactive pelvic floor is having vaginal pain during sex. That’s why it’s important to keep relaxing and to not push yourself through the pain. You can think of having vaginismus or vulvitis when you have a painful vagina, but you can also experience symptoms like urinal incontinence and obstipation when you have an overactive pelvic floor. Sex positions like the cowgirl or the Titanic help the woman to relax while she’s still experiencing a good penetration at her own speed. The sex position koala helps giving a proper working out to the man, but it gives the woman a relaxing, sexual experience.
What is an overactive pelvic floor?
An overactive pelvic floor is a pelvic floor that’s too tensed up. The pelvic floor muscles are (almost) not able to relax and are often tightly shut. This makes it difficult to pee or to properly empty the bladder. Unwantedly losing urine is also a possibility when your pelvic floor is overactive. This is caused by the applied pressure on the pelvic floor. If the pressure increases, the pelvic floor muscles could lose control during certain activities like sneezing or walking. Urinal or fecal incontinence is also a possibility, while urinating or pooping might be a proper struggle. Because going to the toilet is harder, the intestines and bladder will become filled up. When they become too full and some pressure is applied, those organs can overflow which causes you to involuntarily lose something. This can also have its effect on sleeping. Sometimes it’s hard to sleep when you’re dealing with an overactive pelvic floor. The intestines and the bladder are very full and you can experience a lot of tension in or around the pelvis, and in the lower back. You can also make use of a pillow when you sleep. These pillows decrease the pressure on your pelvic floor during your night’s rest.
7 symptoms of having an overactive pelvic floor:
- Having vaginal pain during sex.
- Having vaginismus.
- Having an overflowing bladder.
- Having pain in the lower back.
- Not being able to empty your bladder.
- Having obstipation.
- Having a bladder infection.
In this article we will take a closer look at an overactive pelvic floor and sex. If you are interested in some other articles click on the blue words.
Having an overactive pelvic floor and sex
Having sex when you have an overactive pelvic floor can be painful, because the pelvic floor is too tense. A tense pelvic floor causes your vagina to be tense. The pelvic floor muscles tense up the muscles surrounding the vagina, which makes it hard for a penis or a finger to be inserted. An overactive pelvic floor can be caused by a negative sexual experience (trauma), overload, anxiety, and pregnancy. Of course you want to be able to enjoy sex, that’s why you do it in the first place. That’s why I want to encourage you to do as many relaxing pelvic floor exercises as possible, so you can teach your pelvic floor muscles how to relax. Doing those exercises can help your vagina to not be as tense, so it’s easier for the penis or a dildo to enter. If it’s still painful, don’t hesitate to stop. It can take a moment for sex to feel comfortable again. That’s why it’s important that you aren’t pushing your body over its limits, and don’t have sex when you’re still in pain.
Tips for having sex when you have an overactive pelvic floor:
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- Relax before you have sex.
- Listen to your body.
- Talk about it when you experience any pain or discomfort.
- Do pelvic floor exercises.
- Use sex toys.
Tip 1: Relax before you have sex.
By relaxing before you have sex when you have an overactive pelvic floor, you’re quicker to feel comfortable in your body. You can worsen the activity of your pelvic floor by stressing or having anxiety, because your body reacts to your thoughts (if you think about being pregnant for a few days, your body will react to it by having a false pregnancy). It helps to take a nice shower or a bath beforehand or to read a book. That way your mind will be elsewhere, so your body and your pelvis can relax.
Tip 2: Listen to your body.
It’s important to listen to your body before you have sex while having an overactive pelvic floor. If you’re tired, rest. If it hurts, stop. When you’re stressing too much, take a bath or a shower, do relaxing exercises, or read a book. Make sure that you don’t do anything your body can’t handle at that moment. Pushing your body over its boundaries isn’t useful. I understand you want to push through, but you can overload your pelvis in such a way that sex won’t be enjoyable anymore and your body will be in a lot of pain.
Tip 3: Talk about it when you experience any pain or discomfort.
It’s important to talk about it. Maybe you have the idea that it’s embarrassing or you feel uncomfortable at the thought of talking about it, but talking with your partner or a sexologist about your painful sex experience can help with putting less stress and tension on your pelvis and your genitals. This maybe sounds weird, but as I’ve said before, your body reacts to your thoughts. There won’t be any positivity if you don’t talk about it, and your partner won’t be able to understand what’s going on.
Tip 4: Do pelvic floor exercises.
Doing pelvic floor exercises helps relaxing your overactive pelvic floor. We’re talking about relaxing pelvic floor exercises here. This way your pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina can relax, so it’s easier for the penis to be inserted. You can perform the pelvic floor exercises every day, before and after sex.
Tip 5: Use sex toys.
You can enjoy having sex more when you use sex toys for your overactive pelvic floor. You can also determine what feels right and what feels uncomfortable for you. Try out the vaginal bullets or cones to help exercise your vagina to ease up. You’ll teach your pelvic floor muscles to relax as well. Another recommendation is using a dildo set. This set consists out of several sizes, so you can decide which size to use. You can take your time getting used to experiencing what a smaller or a bigger dildo does to you. Feel free to take a look at this recommended set from Teazers. Lubrication is important as well. Lubrication helps the moisture levels inside of your vagina, and helps with inserting the penis and/or sex toys. That way it’s more pleasurable to have sex or to masturbate.
Sex positions for having an overactive pelvic floor:
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- Sex position cowgirl.
- Sex position Koala.
- Sex position the Titanic.
- Sex position the spider.
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- Sex position cowgirl.
The cowgirl position is a good position if the woman wants to be control. She can take a seat on top of the man, and the man is lying on his back on bed. The woman can support herself with her hands against the wall or the headboard of the bed. She can also determine how deep and fast the penetration goes. If she were to feel uncomfortable, she can slow down until she relaxes again.
- Sex position cowgirl.
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- Sex position Koala.
The sex position Koala can be a good workout for the man while it’s a relaxing position for the woman. The man is standing up-straight on the floor while carrying the woman. The woman wraps her legs around the man’s hips and cuddles him like a koala. The man can insert the vagina this way while the woman eases up on him. He can lift and lower the woman on her speed, so she doesn’t experience too much pain. If it becomes a little too heavy, the woman can support herself with her back against the wall.
- Sex position Koala.
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- Sex position the Titanic.
The Titanic is a good one especially for your overactive pelvic floor, because it gives a moderate penetration while the woman can relax. The man is lying with his back on the bed, just like with cowgirl. The woman is on top of the man with her back faced to the man. It looks a bit like the reverse cowgirl. The woman can place her legs next to the man’s body and hold or cuddle his legs for support. Instead of Jack and Rose enjoying the view of the sea, Jack can enjoy the view of Rose while she controls being penetrated on an enjoyable speed.
- Sex position the Titanic.
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- Sex position the spider.
This position works for your overactive pelvic floor as well, because the woman can relax while the man is putting the work in. The spider goes as following; the woman lays with her back on the bed and the man is seated in front of her. The man places his feet underneath the woman’s arms (underneath her armpits). You are basically butt-to-butt. The woman has her feet placed on the mattress, this way she also finds support from the bed. The man places his hands behind him on the bed for support, this way he can penetrate the vagina. The women can keep lying down while the man provider her of a deep or moderate penetration.
- Sex position the spider.
Do you want more inspiration for sex ideas, but you have pelvic instability? Then maybe this article is for you. Or take a look at sex positions during pregnancy.
And lastly, are you looking for more information?
Hopefully this information was useful to you! If you’re still looking for some more information, feel free to take another look around on the website. It’s filled with in-depth information, tips a webshop and also exercises. I still have a lot of articles with lots of information about other symptoms and issues. Feel free to click on the blue words to take you straight to the right page.
