Having sex while you’re experiencing pelvic pain is possible. It is important to track down what causes it. The biggest cause of pelvic pain is having an overactive or overly tense pelvic floor. This means that the vagina and anus are incredibly tense as well. Inserting a penis, finger or tool can be painful. The pelvic floor muscles tense up even more once you experience pain, so don’t force it. Forcing it will increase the pelvic pain and vaginismus or vulvitis could develop. It’s important that you learn how to relax when you’re experiencing pain caused by an overly active pelvic floor. It’s also crucial for men to have a relaxed and healthy pelvic floor so that they can enjoy having sex. It’s hard for a man to get an erection if he’s experiencing an overactive pelvic floor. Relaxation is key in this situation as well.
An eventual function disorder in the pelvic floor can cause a weakened or an overactive pelvic floor.
Take a look at my pelvic floor exercises as well, or take a look at the pelvic items in the Pelvic Store.
The difference between a tense and a weak pelvic floor
Women and pelvic issues. We are hearing a lot about it. A lot is also happening around a woman’s pelvis, so that something can go wrong isn’t weird at all. Think of a pregnancy and the following childbirth. That’s an incredibly risky event. But also women that have never given birth before can experience pelvic issues, pelvic pain and other pelvic problems.
You can experience pelvic issues in the pelvic floor and in the pelvic floor muscles through two different situations. This is when the pelvic floor muscles are too tense or active, or too weakened. Let me explain both.
A tense pelvic floor
An overactive or an overly tense pelvic floor means that the pelvic floor muscles are too tight. Relaxing is nearly impossible.
The pelvic floor muscles subconsciously make sure that your anus and urethra have been closed off, day in, day out. If you need to do your business on the toilet, these muscles will relax so that you can drop your urine and/or feces in the toilet. You’re not clenching your butt actively together all day, right? Having that subconscious tension does turn out to be pretty handy. It saves you a lot of cleaning up to do. But there is also a turning point. Because of it being subconscious, you aren’t directly in control. If there is something wrong with your pelvic floor muscles and you want to use them differently can prove to be quite the challenge.
If it’s the case that your pelvic floor muscles are overactive, you won’t immediately feel what’s wrong. You can still notice a tight sensation around your hips, like a strap. Pelvic pain is because of the amount of tension in the pelvic floor muscles a huge symptom as well.
8 symptoms of an overactive pelvic floor:
- Having difficulty with going to the toilet.
- Bladder infections or obstipation is common.
- Experiencing pain during sex, having a vagina that’s too tight.
- Inserting something, like a tampon, into the vagina is nearly impossible or too painful.
- Vaginismus or vulvitis.
- Overflow incontinence (urge incontinence). The building up feces and urine can cause some urine or feces to escape involuntarily when the intestines or bladder are under pressure.
- Pelvic pain and a pressing sensation in the lower abdomen, lower back, groin and hips.
- Having pain in the tailbone.
If the pelvic floor is overactive and the pelvic floor muscles are too tense, you need to learn how to relax. Get control over your pelvic floor muscles again and relax! I can help you with that. Take a look at my relaxing pelvic floor exercises.
3 most common causes of an overactive or overly tense pelvic floor:
Cause 1: Physical tax.
An overactive pelvic floor can be caused by a prolonged heightened physical tax. Think of heavy physical labor. This has to do with abdominal pressure. The pressure in your abdomen can increase quite a bit. Your pelvic floor muscles need to be able to properly catch the pressure.
You can compare an increasing abdominal pressure with pushing or straining. Try it out. You will notice that you’re holding your breath and that you’re straining towards your anus. This also happens whenever you’re lifting something heavy, but also when you’re doing a less taxing activity, like coughing and laughing. It’s important that the abdominal pressure isn’t increasing too high. You can continue breathing through your stomach to decrease the pressure.
Cause 2: Being overweight
If you’re overweight, or you have been, you have an increased chance of having a weakened pelvis. Your weight already caused a heightened abdominal pressure and your physical shape and the shape of your muscles wouldn’t have been optimal. The strength has decreased and the pressure of the weight increases. Your pelvis being weakened is nearly impossible to prevent.
Cause 3: Trauma.
You can also have developed a tense pelvic floor through trauma. A situation or a memory can cause your pelvic floor muscles to cramp up. An unfortunate sexual experience in the past, for example. That makes it difficult for you to relax when you’re with your partner.
Other causes of a tense pelvic floor
If you didn’t find your answer between the 3 causes above, then there are still a few less known causes for your tense pelvic floor.
4 other causes of an overactive of a tense pelvic floor:
- If you are acquainted with muscular issues in the lower back, hips, SI-joints, tailbone or lower abdomen, then this can also cause an imbalance in the pelvic floor muscles. You may be using the muscles differently and that causes the pelvic floor muscles to become overtaxed or overactive.
- Temporary gut issues or intestine diseases. The pelvic floor muscles frequently work overtime and can become overactive.
- A reoccurring bladder infection or a bladder disorder. The pelvic floor muscles also work overtime when this is the case.
- The pressure of having sex can also cause an overactive pelvic floor. Cultural pressure or religious influence can play a huge part on the state of your pelvic floor.
Sexual issues when you have an overactive or tense pelvic floor
Having an overactive or an overly tense pelvic floor can lead up to a few known issues:
- Skin issues around and in the vagina.
- Experiencing pain during sex.
- Vaginismus, a narrowed vagina, or even vulvitis.
- Anxiety for having intercourse.
- A vagina that’s too dry. The blood flow through the vagina is disrupted.
Women that experience the issues above have too much tension in the pelvic floor, also known as having an overactive or an overly tense pelvic floor. The vagina will feel too narrow and it wouldn’t feel too comfortable when trying to insert a finger, penis, tampon, or another object. There is often not a clear cause for an overactive pelvic floor. An earlier negative experience or the inability to relax is often a suitable cause. Mental issues are also common to cause a narrow vagina. A dreading fear of an unsuccessful penetration can cause a vicious cycle and will prolong the pelvic issues.
You can also experience a tiring sensation. A tired pelvic floor is quick to be caused when the pelvic floor is overactive. You can rapidly develop issues and imbalance. The lower back, pubic area, groin and lower abdomen will start to feel differently because they are being used differently.
Another note is the blood flow. The pelvic floor will have a decreased blood flow if the tension is too high. This can cause itchiness, cuts and redness in and around the vagina. This can feel incredibly uncomfortable and in turn this can cause pain in the vagina. The chances of developing inflammations or a yeast infection will increase.
A weak pelvic floor
The pelvic floor can also be too weak instead of being overactive. This is often caused by age, inactivity, but also childbirth or a surgery can cause your pelvic floor to weaken. Think of a prostate or bladder surgery. Having a weak pelvic floor can mean that you are having difficulty with holding back feces or urine. It can be the case that you’re already experiencing incontinence issues. There are also cases of organic prolapses because of a weak pelvic floor.
A solution for a weak pelvic floor would be to train it. Muscle strengthening exercises work miracles for a weak pelvic floor. You need to strengthen these pelvic floor muscles back up. I can help you with that! Take a look at my strengthening pelvic floor exercises. Work out and recover.
3 most common causes of a weakened pelvic floor:
Cause 1: Pregnancy or childbirth.
Pregnancy and the follow up of childbirth is the most impacting physical event in your life. Your body has been through a lot of changes and your pelvis has been preparing for giving birth since day 1. Your pelvis has made room for your baby to safely pass. The pelvic ligaments and tissue around your pelvis become weaker because of the released hormones, this causes your pelvis to be wider and weaker.
“A fun fact: Did you know that every pregnant woman has pelvic instability, but that this doesn’t have to be accompanied by pelvic pain?”
Once childbirth has finally arrived and the baby has been born, the already loosened up pelvic ligaments and tissue will be stretched out even further. The pelvic floor needs to strengthen back up after giving birth. The pelvic floor can also be damaged by the stretching because of giving birth. The pelvic floor will weaken, but in time in combination with the suitable exercises, it will also have a shorter recovery period.
Cause 2: Age.
Sad but true. The older you become, the more things will start to sag. This also counts for your pelvic floor muscles. The muscular strength will decrease over the years. Women of age that have already experienced giving birth fall in the group of being at risk of developing weakened pelvic floor muscles. The pelvic floor muscles once got a big hit and will descend to a new rock-bottom once they weaken.
Cause 3: Birth defects.
You could also have had a pelvic condition since you were little. Something like a birth defect in your connective tissue. Have you ever had a hernia or varicose veins? This can mean you have a defect. Go to your doctor to rule this out.
Sexual issues with a weakened pelvic floor
A weakened pelvic floor can lead to having a variety of issues:
- Urinary incontinence or urinary loss during intercourse.
- The pleasurable sensation is absent.
- Difficulty or the inability to orgasm.
A weak or less active pelvic floor provide less support to organs than what they truly need from these muscles. This can eventually cause a prolapse. If an organ has been weakened and this descends to the vagina, there will be less space in the vagina. This can cause discomfort during penetration. Less space means that your vagina will be more narrow, and this in turn will increase the risk of friction. This can cause an uncomfortable and chafing sensation.
A specialized therapist or the suitable exercises on this website can help you when your pelvic floor muscles have been weakened. You will quickly notice positive results because the strength in your pelvic floor muscles will increase. The anxiety surrounding urinary loss will decrease and you will be quick to feel more comfortable in your skin. Your libido will also increase during these exercises because the exercises will improve the blood flow in your pelvic floor.
What can you do when you have an overactive or weakened pelvic floor?
- Pelvic floor exercises:
Pelvic floor exercises will help you relax if the pelvic floor muscles are too tense. You can also perform the suitable strengthening pelvic floor exercises if your pelvic floor is weak. These exercises have been scientifically proven to work and can ensure a proper recovery. Take a look at the pelvic floor exercise modules that already have been prepared for you.
- Dildo sets:
Next to performing the pelvic floor exercises, there are also a variety of tools that can help you out. Think of using different dildo sets or vaginal bullets. These sets can help your pelvic floor to relax when something is being inserted. But you can also strengthen the pelvic floor by using the loop at the end of the dildos. Try to prevent the dildo or bullet from going out as you slowly pull them out. A fantastic dildo set is the set from Segretoys. These set consists out of different sizes and will be able to provide you support throughout your entire exercise period.
- The pelvic therapist:
A pelvic physical therapist or pelvic physical practitioner will be able to tell you everything about the pelvic floor. Your sexuality and how your body changes during intercourse will also be discussed. The tension but most importantly the relaxation for your vagina and the pelvic floor muscles will be primarily focused on. Breathing exercises, relaxation exercises and awareness exercises will be presented to you as well. Everything will be offered so that you can become aware and learn how to take control over your pelvic floor muscles. A vaginal balloon can also help when your pelvic floor is too active. This is pain-free and a good solution to have your vagina adjust to the stretching. A cooperation with a sexologist and a pelvic therapist may also be an ideal solution for you.
