Having pelvic pain after sex often gets caused by too much tension in the muscles surrounding the vagina, like the pelvic floor muscles. Pelvic pain can develop after sex because of not being able to relax enough. A tense pelvic floor can get caused by tension, anxiety, trauma, or overexertion. Sex positions, like the cowgirl or the lily, gives the woman more control over the penetration. You can control the pace and you can slow down if necessary once it starts to hurt. It’s also handy to perform pelvic floor exercises before and after having sex, this helps to relax your pelvic floor. It’s also recommended to make use of sex toys during the pelvic floor exercises. Using a dildo set will help you learn how to relax.
Take a look at my pelvic floor exercises as well, or take a look at the pelvic items in the Pelvic Store.
What is pelvic pain?
Pelvic pain is pain around the pelvis and pelvic floor. You often experience pain in your lower abdomen, the vagina, (around) the pelvis, or in your lower back. Your pelvis has an important role in your body, and once it starts to hurt this can feel pretty uncomfortable when you’re busy with other activities like running, lifting or having sex.
What causes pelvic pain in women?
The causes of pelvic pain in women are a result of an overly tense pelvic floor. The causes of an overactive pelvic floor are primarily tension, a traumatic event or overexertion. An overly tense pelvic floor or vagina can also develop during the pregnancy. You can also experience having an overactive pelvic floor around the menstruation or during the menopause. These are often being caused by fluctuating hormones.
What is pelvic pain after sex?
This is pretty straightforward, it means that you’re experiencing pain in and around the pelvis after having sex. This pain can be located in the lower abdomen, in and around the vagina and the anus. This can be pretty uncomfortable for the woman, because it makes having sex less tempting. Pelvic pain after having sex often is a result of an overly tense pelvic floor. Women aren’t able to relax properly. This affects the blood flow of the vagina and you aren’t able to become as lubricated as you’d like. The friction that the penis causes can cause tiny injuries because of the vagina being too narrow or dry. You can also develop vaginismus or vulvitis at a later stage. A tense pelvic floor causes pressure on your vagina, which keeps the opening of the vagina (partly) shut. This makes it more difficult to have the male genitals penetrate. You often don’t notice yourself tensing up the pelvic floor, that’s why it’s good to consider which sex positions you are going to perform. Sometimes pelvic pain is also caused by a weakened pelvic floor.
10 symptoms of pelvic pain after sex
There are a few symptoms of pelvic pain after sex and having sex with pelvic pain to let you know if you have pelvic pain:
- A nagging pain in the lower back.
- Pain during walking.
- Pain in the hip(s).
- A stabbing or nagging pain in or around the vagina after having sex.
- A bruised sensation or a nagging pain in the pelvic floor.
- Pain when you stand up.
- Having difficulty to walk stairs.
- Pain around the pubic bone.
- Having pain in the tailbone when you sit.
- Having an exhausted sensation around the pelvis.
Advices for having pelvic pain after sex
Pelvic pain after having sex isn’t something that you can easily get rid of, but there are a few things you can do to help decrease the pain and to make you feel more comfortable during sex.
- Sex positions where the woman is in control.
- Take it easy before you’re going to have sex.
- Avoid sex positions where your back is hollow.
- Sex toys help decrease pelvic pain.
- Perform pelvic floor exercises.
Advice 1: Sex positions where the woman is in control
Certain sex positions cause pain after having sex, this is caused by an overly tense pelvic floor or by making wrong twisting movements. That’s why it’s handy to know which sex positions decrease the pelvic pain after having sex. These will be all sex positions where the woman is in control of the penetration, like the lap dance or the cowgirl. The woman determines what she can and can’t handle. On the page with 9 sex positions for pelvic pain you can see which sex positions are most suitable for you when you have pelvic pain.
Advice 2: Take it easy before you’re going to have sex
It’s important to rest before you’re going to have sex. Be intimate while you’re relaxed. Your pelvis will be able to relax and your pelvic floor will be less tense during sex. Take a warm bath so that your body can rest, give each other a massage in a warm environment or take a nap before you get started. Limit walking and avoid twisting movements. Switch up your posture so that your muscles won’t become stiff. The only thing that should become stiff is the man’s genitals.
Advice 3: Avoid sex positions where your back is hollow.
Sex positions that require you to have a hollow back will tense up your back muscles. This can cause pelvic pain during and especially after sex. This because the back is closely connected to the pelvis. Additional muscular tension can be avoided by not using these positions. It’s important that you tilt your pelvis a bit backwards so that you make your back more flat. Your abdominal- and back muscles will be able to support your back better.
Advice 4: Sex toys help decrease pelvic pain
If you’re experiencing pelvic pain after sex, it’s recommended to use sex toys. Sex toys help you to get into the mood. Using sex toys can also decrease the muscular tension in the pelvic floor. This way you’re able to adjust to having an object in your vagina, at your pace. A lot of sets with a variety of sizes are available. Think of vaginal bullets or dildo sets with different sizes. A great set is the dildo set from Segretoys. This set consists out of different sizes, is nice to use and easy to clean. Lubrication is also important, because your vagina is unable to properly self-lubricate or it will be too narrow when you have an overactive pelvic floor. The sex toys or penis will be able to slide in easier when you use lubrication. You can find the sex toys suitable to help you when you have an overactive or tense pelvic floor in the Pelvic Store.
Advice 5: Perform pelvic floor exercises
By performing pelvic floor exercises before or after sex, you help your pelvic floor to relax. Relaxing pelvic floor exercises are handy to perform when you have pelvic pain during or after sex. Click on the blue link to go straight to the relaxing pelvic floor exercises. The benefit of doing those exercises is that you will still feel good about yourself after having sex. This helps you with walking stairs, bending over or lifting. You will experience less pelvic pain after having sex and you will have more control over the tension in your pelvic floor.
8 sex positions to avoid to prevent pelvic pain after having sex
If you’re frequently experiencing pelvic pain after having sex, it’s often being caused by the sex positions that you’re performing with your partner which affects the muscular tension in the pelvic floor. It’s all fun and games, until you’re experiencing it more often and you end up not wanting to have sex anymore. That’s why it’s better to avoid some sex positions. You can also already experience pain before having sex. This can be caused by an overactive pelvic floor, vaginismus or vulvitis.
- Avoid the drill position
You should avoid this position because you’re leaning against the wall with your hands, while your partner is holding your hips and your legs are airborne next to his hips. This can make the penetration go too deep or too fast which makes pelvic pain pretty unavoidable. You can lose balance and make a wrong move with your pelvis.
- Avoid the wheelbarrow position
Just like with the drill position, your partner is holding you by your hips and you need to place your hands on the floor for support. You can get a painful pelvis if it goes too deep or too fast.
- Avoid the superman position
Your partner is lifting you up from behind with your legs in the air and your hands holding your partner’s knees. If your partner isn’t strong enough, you can lose balance and make a wrong move with your pelvis.
- Avoid the acrobat position
You have one foot placed on the floor and the other leg is being held up by your partner. One of your hands is keeping a hold of your partner and the other is on the floor. This causes you to have a hollow back and you can make wrong movements with your pelvis.
- Avoid the Ying-Yang position
Why? Because you are underneath your partner with a hollow back and your shoulders will be pulled back to your shoulders while he is pressing his weight onto you.
- Avoid the ballerina position
One leg is up against your partner’s shoulder and the rest of your body needs to be supported by your partner. If he doesn’t, you will fall over. This can cause you to make a wrong movement with your pelvis.
- Avoid the golden gate position
You have to sit on your knees and lean backwards to be able to reach your partner’s penis. This causes your back to be too hollow.
- Avoid the orchid position
With this position you have to stand on your hands with your legs spread and leaning against your partner.
You should avoid all of these sex positions if you’re experiencing pelvic pain after having sex, because you have a hollow back with the most of them. Apart from that, you have to tense up a lot and you somehow need to keep your balance all the time. Thirdly, you will be making too many twisting movements with your pelvis which could cause pelvic pain afterwards. Of course this is different for everyone, some women are able to do these positions and some aren’t. It’s important to be careful while trying out sex positions. If you feel too uncomfortable, stop and try something else. You can always use sex toys that will help with pelvic pain too. A big recommendation is the dildo set from Segretoys. This set consists out of different sizes which makes it suitable if you want to take your time with learning how to relax.
