Having intercourse after giving birth is recommended 6 weeks after the event, so that your body receives the proper time to recover. Logically you should wait longer if your body hasn’t recovered properly after these 6 weeks. For example, if you have been cut or torn you need a minimum of 12 weeks to recover, and you aren’t allowed to have intercourse sooner than that. The same counts for the sensitive vulva. Once your vagina doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s safe to have sex again. You are still very much fertile after giving birth, so it’s recommended to use a condom. You aren’t allowed to use birth control yet because of the hormones they consist out of.
Take a look at my pelvic floor exercises as well, or take a look at the pelvic items in the Pelvic Store.
Wait with having sex after you gave birth
It’s best to wait with having intercourse after giving birth so that your body can recover from the event. This means that your stitches need to heal, that you shouldn’t experience any blood loss, and that your cervix has been fully closed. Once you have achieved this, having sex will feel better for you. You have a chance of worsening your injuries if you aren’t patient with having sex, which would lead to being in even more pain. It’s safe to have sex again once your vagina isn’t sensitive or painful anymore. Maybe you had a lack of intercourse during your pregnancy and you want to jump straight back into it, but please wait until your body has fully recovered so that you aren’t increasing your pain and issues.
When is it safe to have sex after giving birth?
Doctors advise that you’re officially allowed to have sex 6 weeks after giving birth, so that your body has enough time to recover. This is only applicable if you have given birth without being cut or torn. If you did go through the latter, it’s advised to wait 12 weeks before having intercourse, because your body needs more time to heal from these injuries. It’s common that you often need to wait an additional 2 weeks to provide your body enough rest.
By performing pelvic exercises for post-childbirth, your body can recover more optimally. It helps achieve your pelvis to be healthy and firm. Do you want to do exercises, but you don’t know where to start? Then the article about preparing for exercises may be something what you’re looking for!
Anxiety around having sex post-childbirth
A lot of women are experiencing anxiety surrounding having sex post-childbirth because of the factors that may come to exist. Giving birth can be quite the impacting event and can exhaust you to the bone. Maybe you don’t even want to think about leaving the bed, let alone to have intercourse. You can also be scared of it, because it can be painful for your vagina. It’s recommended to invest in a dildo set. This set consists out of small and big dildos, so that you can experiment at your own pace and discover how it feels for you. You decide on the size. Take a look at the 4-piece dildo set from Intimate Rose.
It’s completely normal to be anxious about the idea of having sex after giving birth. However, this anxiety can cause you to put more tension on your pelvic floor muscles. This will cause the vagina to feel tight, to not be properly supplied with blood, and therefore it will produce less moisture. Your breasts may also be sensitive because of breast feeding, which might cause discomfort when you move your body too much. Next to being afraid to have more pain, it’s also possible to be afraid about your fertility after giving birth. You may not want to be pregnant again on such a short notice and you aren’t allowed to use birth control yet. Or maybe you are incredibly insecure about how you look after giving birth, and may not be feeling comfortable in your own body. I will summarize a few anxiety-inducing factors for having intercourse after childbirth. For every bullet point we will provide an answer so that you can hopefully enjoy having sex again.
8 factors which causes the disinterest in intercourse after giving birth
- Infection.
2. Exhaustion.
3. Lack of vaginal moisture.
4. Having a recovering vagina.
5. Increased fertility.
6. Not wanting to because of the baby.
7. Insecurity.
8. Protected sex.
Infection.
You may develop an infection if you are too hasty with having intercourse after giving birth. Next to probably having stitches, your vagina may be incredibly sensitive since it had to endure a lot. By re-opening your injuries by having sex, you may displace the healthy bacteria located in your vagina, right into your injuries. This can cause infections, like candida. This is a good reason to wait with having intercourse after giving birth. Are you still experiencing blood loss from the injury in your cervix? Then an infection may still develop there too.
Exhaustion.
It can also be the case that your body is simply too exhausted. Your body may have recovered from the injuries, but that doesn’t mean that you are up for having sex yet. That’s incredibly logical. You can still experience having a weakened pelvic floor, and because of that you can have an exhausted sensation in your pelvic floor when you have intercourse.
Lack of vaginal moisture.
I have previously mentioned that your vagina is extremely sensitive after giving birth. Having sex with a dry vagina isn’t only painful for your pelvic floor muscles, but it’s also incredibly uncomfortable for yourself. Because your pelvic floor muscles are in pain, they tense up and that narrows the vaginal canal, which makes it challenging to have sex. This makes your vagina vulnerable and it may feel different than what you’re used to. Your vagina also struggles to self-lubricate, which can cause sex to feel pretty uncomfortable for you. Having lubrication at hand is something that could incredibly help, because it applies moisture to your vagina and therefore cause less pain. Don’t be shy to always use lube. The sensitivity will pass with time.
Having a recovering vagina.
Your pelvis are weaker and more flexible during your childbirth so that giving birth is easier. Childbirth can cause the vaginal walls to be stretched. This causes the sensitivity during intercourse after giving birth. This is unfortunate for the woman, but also for the man. By performing a few pelvic floor muscle exercises, you can tighten your vaginal walls back up, so that you can both enjoy having sex again.
In the article about post-pregnancy exercises for the pelvic floor muscles are a few examples about the exercises that can help you achieving this goal.
Increased fertility.
It’s a high possibility that you can have sex after 6 weeks after giving birth, but are you back to being fertile? Yes, 4 weeks post-childbirth you are fertile again and your menstruation cycles can (unfortunately) also start again. Your periods may last longer when you’re breastfeeding, but that also depends on for how long you breastfeed. Because of your fertility and menstruations being back, you need to pay good attention to how you use protection, unless you already want to have another child. If you aren’t ready to carry another child yet, it’s smart to use condoms. You have increased hormones during childbirth and even after giving birth you will notice that these hormones are still present. You aren’t allowed to use birth control because of these additional hormones, because birth control consists out of hormones as well.
Not wanting to because of the baby.
Of course it can also be the case that you will find it awkward to have intercourse when there’s a child in the house or the same room. You have finally completed your pregnancy and your partner is ready to go again. Your body has fully recovered and you are able to have sex again. But, there is one issue: You feel uncomfortable. It’s logical to at first think that having sex is weird because your child is in the same proximity. But try not to think like that. You are a person with needs and longings. It’s completely normal to just have sex. Your baby is most likely sleeping in the next room and won’t even notice it.
Insecurity.
You’ve just endured childbirth and your body needs to recover. That’s why you currently don’t feel comfortable in your own body and you are trying to avoid having intercourse. It’s logical that you feel insecure about your body. Most women already feel insecure without even being pregnant, but now you are recovering from giving birth and your partner wants to get on with it. You’d rather not, because you feel uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to decline if you really don’t want to, but it’s especially important to not hate yourself for your body. Your body is recovering and you are beautiful as you are. Don’t feel insecure, but feel pride. You’ve just gone through giving birth. Well done!
Protected sex.
It’s smart to make use of condoms during the first few weeks. You aren’t allowed to use birth control yet because of the amount of hormones that’s in there. Your body already carries a large amount of hormones because of the pregnancy and it needs to heal to be able to release these hormones. Your menstruations will start later when you’re breastfeeding, which means that you aren’t allowed to take birth control until later as well. After 3 weeks you can take the minipill or progestin-only pill, and after 6 weeks you can take regular birth control again. Are you giving formula instead of breastfeeding? Then you are allowed to take regular birth control after 3 weeks. If you aren’t certain about it yet, or the doctor advises you differently, then you may always take the minipill instead.
And lastly, are you looking for more information?
Hopefully this information was useful to you! If you’re still looking for some more information, feel free to take another look around on the website. It’s filled with in-depth information, tips, a web shop and also exercises. I still have a lot of articles with lots of information about other symptoms and issues. Feel free to click on the blue words to take you straight to the right page.
